if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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