i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
