They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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