I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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