Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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