Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
