Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
