That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize