a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
