I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
