Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
NoShamevember. You game?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
