I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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