I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Girls should come with a carfax report
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
