i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
