They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
