Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
