its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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