you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize