Duck Duck Cougar?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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