I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
