Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
