You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
