I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
