What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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