is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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