problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
