hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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