She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
