sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
