What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
