The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
