I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
