There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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