So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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