i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
