I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
