Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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