I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
