Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
