he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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