The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
