I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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