Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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