i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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