that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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