Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
