He kissed a someone with a penis
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize