hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
