I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
