it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
is that a dick in a sweater?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize