she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
