And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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