he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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