I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
