No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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