I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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