Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
