i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
